I found a letter in between the pages of one of my Bibles. I keep it as a reminder of where we were.
It’s a love letter. Not the mushy kind inspired by infatuation. No, the only similarity to a middle school love note is the notebook paper on which it’s written. This love letter is not the kind filled with dreamy visions of the future. It’s not loaded with good intentions or empty promises. No fancy words were used, no love songs quoted. This love letter was a simple expression of his feelings for me. And a surprise one, too, because it had been at least ten years since the last one.
Hard times caused him to write it. We were struggling. Not connecting, not agreeing, whatever the reason, hard times came. We weren’t doing so well with them. We lost it with each other. We said things we meant at the moment but wish we hadn’t. Things like, “I can’t do this anymore” or “do what you have to do.” Words that made us wonder if we even knew each other at all. The kind of words that hurt deep down. Then the silence would come and sometimes more anger. Most of the time the silence brought revelation, understanding, conviction. It definitely brought regret. I came face to face with my foolishness, my pride, and that brought its own kind of pain.
He chose to break the silence with a love letter. I remember the moment clearly. He didn’t say a word when he handed me the folded piece of paper. He left me alone to read. I won’t share his words, those are mine. But I know they were written in a moment of pure love, the kind you feel so intensely that you think your heart will burst. The kind we express when we love our best.
We are still learning to love well.
I have a long way to go. But I’m on the edge of becoming someone better, someone more free to love the way I’m supposed to. God is transforming me with His perfect love and I’m still learning.
This learning process seems painfully slow at times. But I’m not defeated when I mess up.
John Piper writes in his book When I Don’t Desire God, “To be sure, our all-too-slow growth in Christ-likeness matters. It is the necessary evidence that our faith is real. But, oh what a difference it makes to be assured, in the discouraging darkness of our own imperfections, that we have a perfect righteousness – namely Christ’s”
“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own”.
Philippians 3:12 NLT
So I cherish this letter and all the other perfect moments we share.
You are a wonderful writer!
Thank you very much. It’s encouraging to know you enjoyed reading my post.
this is beautiful and speaks very personally to me, as I have had many struggles in my relationship
Thank you I’m sorry for your struggles.
It’s ok, I don’t think I have any more than anyone else, relationships take work
We’ve had many struggles but are learning through them.
Yes, I am trying to learn too, but it’s so hard!
Moving! It pricked some places in my heart & tears flowed. I’m not sure if it was my feelings of love or hurt, maybe a mixture. Love you, Marie. I also, enjoy & look forward to what the Lord has for all of our lives.
Thank you sister!! Love you too.
How I wish more people truly understood (in advance) that there is a significant amount of adversity that comes with the marriage covenant. Finding a marriage relationship without adversity would be like finding a unicorn. We get to choose how to respond to the hard times. It is good to read how you and your love have decided to respond to it in your marriage.
Thank you Diana. We choose to keep learning to love well and to fight for our marriage.
Yes, marriage is not a bed of roses. when we love, it is essential to keep finding alternative ways of dialogue. When hope is gone, I am convinced that letters can still speak for us and make miracles happen.
Yes there is something about words written on a page.
This is beautiful Marie. Such richness in both your self-understanding and your understanding of him. Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing it.
Thanks John. We’re learning. And growing.
I’m enjoying hopping around, reading posts, and getting to know you better, Marie. You and your husband have surely walked a hard road, but sounds like the rewards have been deep and true.
Thank you so much for following my blog.
Aww, thank you. We have been down a hard road, but you’re right, the rewards far outweigh the challenges.
You’re so interesting! I do not suppose I have read something like that
before. So nice to find another person with original thoughts on this subject.
Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This site is
something that is required on the web, someone with some originality!
Thank you very much for your kind comments.