“To lend each other a hand when we’re falling,” Brendan said. “Perhaps that’s the only work that matters in the end.”Frederick Buechner in Listening to Your Life, March 24th
We are better together. I’ve been writing and talking about this for over ten years but I’ve known it all my life. There’s no way around it. We are a “with” kind of people. That’s one reason I’m hosting a webinar this month on friendship.
This edition of Just For You is all about offering you resources to inspire you to do the hard work of building and maintaining healthy relationships. Yes, it is work and sometimes it is hard. And it could save your life, or at least lengthen it.
No, You’re Not
I hear others say, “I’m better off alone!” That is literally not true, but don’t take my word for it! The One who made you said, “It is not good for man to be alone…(Genesis 2:18). So God made another like him; a helper, companion, a friend. This is not limited to marriage or romantic relationships. I’m talking about all of our relationships, especially friendship. Our relationships are part of God’s goodness to us.
Science confirms that we are better together. In a recent 2-part episode of Plain English, Derek Thompson and guests reveal the findings of the longest study on happiness in U.S. history. Guess what the 80-year study revealed? People who have friendships (romantic or not) are happier and live longer. They talk about a concept of social fitness as well. It’s never too late to get more “socially fit” and they share a story about a man who was part of the study to prove it. The entire episode is an insightful and helpful discussion.
Maybe Joe Will
If God and science won’t convince you – maybe Joe Rogan will. He says, “You really do need each other. Without love it’s all useless.”
And love happens in relationships. This is where we learn and grow and change. We practice love and care in relationships and hopefully, we get better and better at it.
Friendships are essential in our lives for a number of reasons. Two of those are with-ness and witness. The physical presence or with-ness of others can be a source of genuine joy and strength.
Another is witness. We all need others to witness our lives. Think about children who learn to do something and exclaim, “Watch!” They want someone to witness them doing the thing. To have you see them do it makes their joy in it…more joyful.
I know this feeling. In one of my earliest Spartan races, to my amazement, I hit the target in the javelin throw and it stuck! I couldn’t believe it. What made it even better was that my friend witnessed my surprise triumph. That’s the beauty of witness.
I want to offer you two more resources. My friend, Marcia Ramirez has written a book called God, My Girlfriends & Me: Nurturing The Three Most Important Relationships In A Woman’s Life. In a conversational and funny style, she encourages us to be intentional about nurturing our friendships. You can order at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and other places books are sold.
The other is the webinar I’m hosting with Bruce Martin. The third and final part is Monday, March 27th at 7 PM CST. We’re recording the webinar and will share it with anyone who signs up. If you’d like to attend, send Bruce or me a message and we’ll email you the link. The first part is in podcast form here.