I ran into a friend yesterday. I followed her back to her office and we sat and talked a while. It was good. We caught up, laughed, remembered, and made a plan to hang out soon. I needed that.
I love good conversation. My heart swells like a roasting marshmallow when I get face-time. It’s good to catch up or get to know someone in a deeper way. That happens through face-time. I’m not referring to the app on your smart phone but it can happen there. Can even happen talking on the phone. But you must be genuinely involved.
Conversation requires a balance of listening and answering, offering your thoughts and receiving theirs. A discovery of a mutual hobby or similar work, a laugh, maybe some tears, a shared history…….an open heart. Mostly it requires your full attention. Your simple devotion to what’s right in front of you.
Conversation heals, brings revelation, transforms, uplifts and teaches. If you’re truly engaged.
But we give the fake nods; say the phony “mmhhmms”; pretend we heard what was said. Scattered, distracted, bothered, uninvolved. We walk away from the conversation unaffected. We barely offer anything of ourselves and have learned nothing about the other person.
It makes no difference whether you’re face-to-face or on the phone.
Good conversation, the kind that makes a difference, requires concentration and consideration.
Next time you have a chance to talk with someone, focus your attention. Stop everything else and connect, encourage, inspire, and listen. Make someone’s heart swell.
It’s the simplest way to show someone they matter.
Taking the time. That’s something I need to implement more of day-to-day. When I talk with someone, I do listen and pay attention, but the stopping and talking with people is a different story. Good reminder.
I need the reminder myself.
Thank you Marie for this post, any relationship is deepened and enhanced by the quality of conversastion which takes place. In this day of hectic lives we seem to have lost the art of concentration and listening to others. One of my friends is the best in that when we do meet the focus is on being together at the moment.What I like about this particular friend is that three or so months after our time together he will still make a reference to the conversation we had and connecting it to the current one. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you for sharing. Your friend seems very special indeed. I’m happy that you have the kinds of conversations that make your heart swell.
You make a very good point here. Thanks for sharing and reinforcing my thoughts.
Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone in this. I wrote a post similar in context a few days ago. I have tried to push the issue that sometimes people get so caught up in everything else that they forget what is going on right in front of them, or devote very little time to it. People tend to devote time to what is important to them, so why is so little devoted to real conversation with someone a person cares about?
We have to focus to be truly engaged. I’m teaching my teens to be more aware and to get off their smart phones! I tell them that what’s happening on Twitter and Instagram isn’t as important as what’s happening right in front of them. Sigh. Hopefully they will realize this soon.
Exactly! Especially when people realize how much time they have lost when they could have been doing great things themselves instead of reading about someone else doing it. If you ever have the chance, I’d love to know what you think of my take on this issue.