Nothing like a birthday to make me think about all the people who’ve helped me be who I am today! And so I do. I look back on my life and remember the people I’ve known and know.
I’ve written about this before because I’m intrigued by the role of memory in our lives. I believe how we keep track of the people we’ve known along the way helps us look ahead with clearer vision.
Who we are now is because of who we knew then. The people we’ve known helped shape who we are. The ones who raised us and taught us. The ones who loved us and hurt us. Our parents and siblings and childhood friends. Aunts and uncles and cousins. Our teachers and preachers or strangers and lovers. All of them had, and some still have, a part in our lives.
Because God gave us the gift of memory we can’t get around it. So it’s important to remember well and truly. To remember the wonderful and happy, the scary and tragic. All the good and all the bad.
A gracious thing happens for me as I practice remembering well. I treasure the good memories. They come unexpectedly and make me smile. Sometimes they bring tears but the sweet, cleansing kind. The other memories, the painful and scary ones, the lonely and dark ones, are a source of thankfulness. I’m thankful because I made it through.
Remembering well also helps me grow in compassion toward others who’ve endured or are enduring their own pain and darkness. I remember what it feels like and am better able to be with those who are suffering.
We either make our worst memories work for us or they’re going to work against us.
“Memory is more than a looking back to a time that is no longer; it is a looking out into another kind of time altogether where everything that ever was continues not just to be, but to grow and change with the life that is in it still. The people we loved. The people who loved us. The people who, for good or ill, taught us things”.
Frederick Buechner
On That Note
Part of how I practice remembering well is telling my story. Sharing our stories and experiences with other is one simple way of helping others. I had the privilege of speaking with my friends at Meet Me in the Middle on several topics and shared parts of my story with them. It was a joy to discuss how I became an advocate, spiritual formation, women in ministry, and my work as a spiritual director.
I’ve linked part one below. You can find parts 2 and 3 on their YouTube channel.
I’d love to hear your story. Visit my Spiritual Direction with Marie website to learn more and connect with me.
A sweet gift to receive this post on my birthday too! Thank you, Marie🤍🤍
Happiest of birthdays to you sweet, Stephanie! May you know and feel in your bones your belovedness.